Friday, January 23, 2009

Not Alone: Warrior Stories.

Kayla Williams, the author of Love My Rifle More Than You: Young and Female in the U.S. Army speaks about her experience in the Army, being in Iraq, and being a wife.

Really, you need to listen to this...

Check out her audio story here.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

All Over the Place.



I'm sure I don't need to tell anyone what yesterday was but Barack Obama is our 44th President! I'm completely ecstatic. Aside from watching Obama swear in, seeing good 'ol W officially leave the White House (I waved goodbye to him from my couch), watching the President and the First Lady dance to 'At Last' at the Neighborhood of the highlights for me was watching Obama at the Commander in Chief Ball. Obama danced with Army Sgt. Margaret Herrera of San Antonio, Texas and the First Lady danced with Marine Sgt. Elidio Guillen of Madera, California. I loved it. Now, let the games begin!

Oh, this also makes me extremely happy: Caroline Kennedy is ending her bid to replace Sen. Hillary Clinton in the U.S. Senate. She said she is withdrawing her name for "personal reasons." I wonder what her "personal reasons" are? Maybe she realized she needs a little more experience than just fundraising in NYC. If Fran Drescher comes back in the picture New York is fucked.

Bye bye Caroline.

I started classes today. I'm already sick of Ugg boots, girls with fake tans, and Long Island accents.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


So I leave tomorrow. Who knew? Can't wait to get back to the cold.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Blue Days, Long Nights.

I've been contemplating writing about my personal relationships from the time I was in Iraq to the present. I can't be the only female veteran who has lost love, found love, lost love again, dated, fell in lust, and done it all over again…right? Aside from the awkwardness of dating, things have only gotten more interesting with men after I tell them I’m a veteran.

I’ve seen how women react to male veterans…women are intrigued, they lean in close to hear all the stories these brave guys have to tell, they run their fingers up and down their arms as if they are soothing them, panties practically fly off, and then…well, there’s the reaction I get: “Oh, that’s cool”, “You got a girlfriend?”, “You don’t look like a veteran”, “You carried a gun?” And then for the most part, it’s just back to figuring out how to get into my pants.

I left for Iraq kind of, sort of, not quite sure, maybe in a relationship. My boyfriend of a year and I decided to see how things went while I was over there. I called him, he emailed and sent me packages. A few months into my deployment, I emailed him less and less. How many different ways could we talk about the same thing? Yes, it’s hot. Work was good. We got mortared today, blah blah blah. It’s not that I didn’t want him in my life, I just didn’t know how to keep him part of it. Some days I thought I would get a “Dear Jane” letter in the mail. It would’ve made both our lives easier.

When I got home, my quasi boyfriend jumped right back into relationship mode. We made dinner, watched movies, and rarely ever talked about Iraq. This satisfied him but not me. He didn’t want to know about what I did or what I saw. He wouldn’t look at any of the pictures I had taken. To him Iraq was just a speed bump; something we both had to get over so we could carry on with our lives.

He told me he loved me and I had no idea what love was. I would look into his blue eyes and he was filled with hope. My brown eyes were mat and inconvincible. I wanted to remember what home was like and feel alive when he touched me. This is what made me happy before and this is what I thought I needed to be happy again. He was a stranger to me now and I wasn’t who he remembered.

Our relationship went on for a few months. One night after dinner, we ended up messing around. I unbuttoned his pants and moved slowly down his stomach with my lips and took him into my mouth. I looked up at him. While life was good for him, I had an epiphany. After he finished, he got dressed and held me for a few minutes. I told him I was tired. He left. Sitting on the edge of my bed I replayed our relationship over and over in my mind. I realized he would be perfect for someone just not me. I called him while he was driving home and ended it. I told him we both knew this wasn’t what we remembered and it never could be. I hung up the phone and cried. Within minutes I recovered. I promised myself that was the last dick I would suck who didn’t want to hear about Iraq.

And so the story goes...

Monday, January 12, 2009

2003: "Mission Accomplished"...syke.

"President George W. Bush admitted Monday it had been a mistake to hang a banner saying "mission accomplished" on a US battleship where he declared major combat operations in Iraq over in 2003."

Oops. At least he can admit when he is wrong, right?

Read the article here.

*Time to put on a dress and do an interview.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Working on the documentary...

I flew into Santa Clara yesterday. Woke up this morning, ate a cinnamon raisin english muffin, drank a lot of tea, and have been working on the documentary for five hours. The process is interesting...sometimes it's tedious...sometimes we disagree on things and other times we completely agree. My friend emailed me some music which is pretty awesome. Hopefully I’ll be able to put up some clips soon.

Tuesday we are driving to SF to talk to people on the street. I’m going to pick their brains…ask them what they think about women in the military, etc.

LA was in the 70s. It’s suppose to get up to 70 in Santa Clara. Albany is literally freezing. I don’t miss the east coast right now.

Friday, January 09, 2009


Thursday, January 08, 2009


Next week I have an interview lined up with a clinical psychologist who headed the National Center for PTSD at the Veterans Affairs Palo Alto Health Care System. I know some female vets read this who may or may not have PTSD...What questions would you ask? What do you want to know? If you aren't a vet but still have questions throw them at me.

When Mommy Comes Marching Home.

Boston University released a video about women veterans and PTSD. Sergeant First Class Michele Parkinson talks about her experience overseas and her battle with PTSD.

Watch the video here.


Tuesday, January 06, 2009


I'm leaving the cold today and I'll be out there until the 15th! I'll be posting pictures and whatever else I can. If you're out there, hang out! Hope everyone is well.

Friday, January 02, 2009

So much news...

*Could there be a connection between combat stress and violent crimes? Nine soldiers who are or were at once part of the Fort Carson’s Fourth Brigade Combat have been charged with murder after returning home from Iraq. Domestic violence, rape, and sexual assault is also on the rise.

"One was John Needham, a 25-year-old private from a military family in California, whose downward spiral began when he sustained shrapnel wounds in Iraq and tried to commit suicide. This September, after being treated for stress disorder and receiving a medical discharge from the Army, Mr. Needham was charged with beating his girlfriend to death."

Read the NY Times article here.

*Military Times Poll: 6 out of 10 active-duty service members are concerned about Obama's lack of military service and experience leading men and women in uniform.

Read the article here.

*Baghdad's Green Zone was handed over to Iraqi control. I love the new ground rules..."the U.S. military must now conduct almost all of its operations with Iraqi forces, and all arrests must be carried out with warrants issued by Iraqi judges." Good luck with all of that.

Read the article here.

...while some celebrated the transition of power others prefer to kill...Attacks Occur as Iraq Takes Control of Key Sites-NY Times.

*Israel and Gaza. Gaza and Israel. It's all horrible. The IAF killed senior Hamas leader and cleric Sheikh Nizar Rayyan and now Hamas has vowed revenge..."strike at Zionist interests everywhere."

Thursday, January 01, 2009

2009! 2009! 2009!

Happy New Year! Happy New Year! Hope everyone had a good night!

This year I'll be out of the Army and done with college! Ahh I can't wait!