Albany...

If you weren't at the Clash and Ramones tribute show at Valentines tonight...well, your idea of fun is shit and you missed out.

Sweet dreams.

Larry Meistrich (hollywood filmmaker) wants you!

Well, only if you are active military or a veteran. Meistrich is soliciting movie and TV pitches from the country's finest, with the intent to choose one project per year to produce and finance.

Meistrich wants the projects to be entirely produced by military personnel and family members. This includes writing, directing, producing, acting, production, etc.

Sounds awesome, right? Let's make a movie! Anyone have a script?

Read the article here: "We wanted to support the troops with more than just a yellow ribbon," Meistrich said.

This Much I Can Give You.

I had lost the other soldiers I was in the firefight with. They ran one way and I ran the other. My boots pounded the sand, then the pavement, then the grass. I leaned against a brick building as if it were the only thing I could rely on. A towering tree was to the left of me, it’s bright green leafs swayed toward an empty field. That much it gave me-a break from reality, a reason to close my eyes and imagine all the other places I should’ve been.

I put my M16 on burst and squeezed the trigger slowly with my left index finger. I never hit anything; not a building, not a car, not a person. It was like my bullets knew the fight wasn’t worth it but I kept shooting. In-between shots I yelled for the other soldiers. I wasn’t ready to be left alone. I wasn’t ready to die.

I closed my eyes and ran my palms down the bricks, even they were sweating. I realized if I didn’t move, I’d be killed. I opened me eyes and peered around the corner. The other soldiers were taking cover and running through the streets. I took a step from behind the building and it hit me; a bullet in my left cheek, then two more. A man emerged with dark oily hair, bright brown eyes, and overlapping teeth. He smiled as his bullets sedated me. I was unable to move, unable to care. The bullets expanded gently in my face. I was usually too scared to touch my face but some nights I ran my fingers slowly over the holes. My fingers seemed to dissolve in the gaping holes the bullets had left. There was never any blood, any death.

I always woke up the same way; staring at my bedroom wall wondering if I was going to die in Iraq. I thought until I fell back asleep. A good soldier is suppose to run through the bullets, accept the fact they might get shot in the face, a good soldier can at least shoot something. Fuck, I didn’t want to get shot in the face, I didn’t want to shoot anyone in the face, and I probably would admire the way a tree danced to the sound of gunshots.

After having the same dream for a few weeks, I thought for sure I was going to get killed over there. I imagined the letter my parents would get notifying them about my death…

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Hoit,

We are sorry to inform you but your daughter was shot in the face by a man who didn‘t believe in using shampoo. You should know the Army trained her well but apparently she liked to do things her own way. On the day of her death she separated herself from the other soldiers, hid behind a building, and she was a terrible shot. By the way, her face ate her fingers so we suggest a closed casket. We are sorry for your lose.

Sincerely,

Uncle Sam




(Rewriting my memoir piece. This might be my new beginning.)

Life updates...

I've been horrible about updating my blog. My semester ended on the 14th, get my grades back tomorrow, and my two summer classes start in a week. I'm taking the History of Photography and a math course. They are Monday-Friday, 8:30-2:50...but they'll be done in four weeks! I'm still working on my memoir piece...the editing process is interesting. It's as though the first 20 drafts didn't matter and now it's time to really say what I want to say. I'm working with a professor who has a few books out and really pushing me. Hopefully one day my piece will be published somewhere.

Germany! Thanks for the emails and facebook messages. Your English doesn't suck! I'll be taking German in the fall...can you guys help me out?

Rold and Mr.England, you guys made it over!! I hope you guys are well! Rold, how's the baby? Harm? Mr.England, coming to the states?

I'm at my Army unit until Thursday to make up some time. I've been working on soldiers promotion packets...real exciting.

Trying to meet some Iraqis who are taking English classes at the school my mom works at. Hopefully tomorrow I get the chance to meet them!

Hope all of you are well!

Five Soldiers killed at Camp Libery, What are Stress Clinics?

U.S. soldier killed five at Camp Liberty’s stress clinic.

What's a stress clinic?

In July 2005, I did a story on the stress clinic at Camp Anaconda in Balad, Iraq. This stress clinic is separate from the stress clinic at Camp Liberty. However, I figured this could shed some light on what exactly a stress clinic is.

"Being deployed in a war zone can affect Soldiers in a variety of ways. Whether a Soldier suffers from combat stress, problems at home, substance abuse, or unit and leadership conflicts the 55th Medical Company, Combat Stress Control, Indianapolis, Ind., here has an assortment of programs set up for intervention.

The Soldiers at the Restoration Clinic understand that many people need an opportunity to express their thoughts, feelings, and problems in a non-judgmental, therapeutic way. Soldiers on Anaconda have the choice of walking in, making an appointment, or they may be recommended by their command to receive individual counseling and treatment.

"We don't turn anyone way, and they would be seen and evaluated the day they walk-in," said Maj. Richard Boone, officer-in-charge of the Restoration Program.

The clinic offers therapeutic intervention classes to include: Relaxation Techniques, Stress Management, Home Front Issues, Communication Skills, Anger Management, Anxiety Awareness, Open Forum, and Depression Awareness. The main objective of the classes is for soldiers to communicate what they are experiencing, look at their own reactions to the stressors, and to see if they can resolve or alter the issue themselves.

"We are about returning Soldiers to full duty, better equipped to handle their stressors, and having a greater sense of personal well-being," Boone said.

When Soldiers come to the clinic, they may enter the Restoration Program. The program is over a three-day period, and focuses on certain classes that would benefit the individual Soldier and one-on-one counseling. However, many Soldiers do not need the full program and they would usually be back to duty within a day with follow-up care as needed, Boone said. In case a Soldier needs more then 72 hours of intervention, the staff offers a Residential Program, where they may stay up to two weeks depending on their condition and response to the treatment.

For Soldiers at other forward operating bases, the staff put together a squad known as the Prevention Team; these Soldiers travel frequently to assist troops. When they visit Soldiers their goals are to offer critical incident debriefings if someone suffered a traumatic event and to make them aware that they have someone to talk to if need be. Soldiers may also be brought into the clinic to be given additional counseling.

The staff is aware that Soldiers may feel awkward about talking to an unfamiliar person about personal problems and anxious about the process. Soldiers will be glad to know that the information they share with the combat stress staff is almost always confidential, Boone said. There are exceptions, however, when issues of dangerous behavior or illegality arise or if the Soldier is a direct command referral. In such cases some information could be shared with other healthcare providers or with the Soldier's command.

"We treat everyone who comes in here as adults, as Soldiers who are doing important work," Boone said. "We treat them with respect, friendliness, and compassion."

Being expected to carry out missions is challenging and dangerous situations may cause emotional and physiological issues. The Soldiers at the Restoration Clinic will be working with Soldiers until the end of their tour in late fall. A replacement unit is expected to arrive to continue this vital work."

Good quote from a good book...

I'm getting ready for my final in Vietnam War and Literature and I came across a perfect quote from one of the books I had to read.

The Sorrow of War by Bao Ninh...

"It was hard to remember a time when his whole personality and character had been intact, a time before the cruelty and the destruction of war had warped his soul. A time when he had been deeply in love, passionate, aching with desire, hilariously frivolous and light-hearted, or quickly depressed by love and suffering. Or blushing in embarrassment. When he, too, was worthy of being a lover and in love...
But war was a world with no home, no roof, no comforts. A happy journey, of endless drifting. War was a world without real men, without real women, without feeling."